Scarred In Love

“Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad?” 

Wherever I turn nowadays, I’m bombarded with sex. Everyone has it, the media uses it to sell products, and people who don’t want it are considered abnormal. I’ve always considered myself asexual; I’ve never had any need nor desire for sex. But I’m with Josh, who’s gay and craves it… so maybe I should at least try it? To see what it’s like, what I’m missing out on?



49 pages

medium heat


Wherever I turned lately, there it was; sex. Sex, sex, sex. It was like the entire universe was against me—or plotting against me, anyway. Like it was trying to nudge me in the right direction. That was, the right direction for most other people, but a direction that had never been right for me.

On the last day of my fourth year in school, my classmates were chatting around me as we all packed our stuff. We wouldn’t be back until next semester started now, our fifth year. We were over half way, in another two years we’d be done.

“What’s your plans for the summer?” the girl in front of me asked the one sitting next to her.

“Ahh, I plan on spending a lot of time with my boyfriend,” she said, stretching and grinning. “I’ve been neglecting him ever since we started cramming for exams. I think he feels lonely. He’s getting something tonight, that’s for sure.”

Getting something… I stuffed my pencil case into my rucksack.
“You’re so lucky to have a boyfriend,” the other girl nearly whispered, leaning in closer. “You can get a shag whenever you want to. I have to go out on the pull if I want some action and it’s such a drag.”

“Find yourself a boyfriend, then you’ll have a steady stream of sex too!”

I slung my rucksack over my shoulder and left. Was it that easy for some people? Just find someone to be with so they could have sex every day? Or just go out on the pull and have sex with strangers? I grimaced, not even able to picture the latter scenario.

Then again, many people I knew had started out as one-offs. My best friend had shagged his boyfriend before they got together. Before he even knew him. My aunt’s sister, who I’d grown up with, had new boyfriends and girlfriends all the time.

What was so great about sex anyway?

Bloody hell. Stop thinking about it.

I turned my phone on to see if Josh had texted me.

He had.

Josh 2:18 I’m in Soho Square Gardens with Chad. Come along when you’re done!

Josh 2:43 No, actually, we moved on. Take the tube to Leicester Square or Piccadilly Circus when you’re done and we’ll meet up.

Josh 2:58 Piccadilly Circus is closer actually, if that works out for you!

All right then. The tube station it was.

It was nice that Josh was out and about, even if it was with Chad. Last year… after his stepfather was released from prison and tried to kill him—and had succeeded in killing my uncle, though that hadn’t been planned on the part of that damn man—Josh had had some difficult months.

Other books in the series


Book 1


Book 1.5


Book 2


Book 2.8